the story that never ends

maybe it's my fault.

I was to stubborn?

I didn't communicate right?

I ruin things... people.

It's like i love too much

I squeeze too hard

and just like the rabbit, they're gone.

Then I'm left alone with the mess

and I don't know what I've done to deserve....

this.

I replay every moment in my mind

like its a movie

and I still can't find what I've done.

All I wanted was to love.

I don't mean to be overbearing

I really thought my life was worth sharing...

why you wouldn't see through my eyes..

it led to so many lies

and things you tried to hide.

I'm not one to be put in a box.

but you did.

and then you turned the lock.

Now I feel like you threw away the key

and you never knew how to love me.

You can't leave me in the dark like that,

you know it feeds my soul.

But you know what you did;

and I guess it's you who has to live.

I just wish I could understand

or see from your perspective

How can you just...

do those things

to someone you love..

and expect they just be okay?

i guess its not hard to just be

when no one else sees

or has a fn clue.

I never told a soul

just dug a deep hole

and buried it so fucking deep.

you would think by now

I could figure it all out

but I could never paint you as bad.

you were my world at one time

but at the toss of a dime

you were gone...

a ghost like the rest

but refuse to leave the nest

and one day it will all come down.

I'll be a free bird and I'll wish you were there

but it seems like maybe; a lesson learned

you never chose me; that I finally see

although I still look for blame: it wasn't it vain

it made me insane ...but I would do it again a million times

even if the outcome was the same.

all the love joy and hope

i found while with you

should be more than enough

to hold me through

I hope in your heart you know

that I will truly always love you.

-BEK

#growingupishard #thestoryofselflove #belle_1188