you should not love people who disrespect and ignore you when you need them.
you do not leave the people you love.
you do not ignore their cries for help.
you do not EVER leave them alone in the darkness.
you do not completely abandon them when you are all they have left in the world.
you do not blind them with your light so you can burn them with your magnifying glass as you watch their suffering.
you do not give them life just so you can take it away.
you do not get to bury their truth just because it hurts you.
It Should Hurt.
It should feel like your insides are trying to rip out of your body but your skin won't let it. so you start to rot inside.
It should feel like you don't know what's real because of all the lies.
It should feel like you are insane - in every literal meaning of the word.
It should feel like nothing and everything all at once... every second of every day for the rest of your human life.
It should feel like everything you ever dreamed of, being right in front of you -
and then set on fire.
and you are stuck.
sitting there - completely numb
forced to watch it all.
watch it all burn.