Falling in-love and being loved back is an incredible feeling.
I fell completely in-love when I did not think I deserved it. I felt like I was unworthy of love for so long because of how I had been treated by others. I have learned that it is so important to set boundaries!! I felt like I always gave so much love and struggled to wonder why I did not get it back. You should never let others affect how you feel about yourself, but I know it is extremely difficult. I just wanted the people I loved to love me back. I did not understand why everyone I had ever loved, left. Life was confusing af for a while.
When I fell in-love .. I was loved back in a way I have never known. I had never really been allowed to be myself because of the perception of the people I loved. I do not know now why I cared so much because they did not love me back. They were not kind to me, but for some reason, I cared what they thought and unintentionally began to change who I was. In doing that I had completely lost myself. You give yourself the love you think you deserve, such a true statement. It makes so much sense when you fully meditate on it. You must realize that you are worthy; you are divine. You deserve everything.
My lover was so understanding and supportive of everything I was going through and had been through. I did my best to be the same for him. We both had been through so much trauma throughout our lives and wanted to make our lives better. ((as most people strive for; but it is hard at times to put into action)) It is hard to trust when you have been let down time and time again. It's hard to fully give yourself to someone when others have taken so much from you already. This time felt different. I was fully accepted for me and fully accepted him.
Going through life with someone you can fully trust and depend on is such a different feeling, amazing.. and something I had not really ever felt before. The people I had loved, had always let me down. I had to always give to get; but not now.
It is still a struggle because sometimes I feel that I do not deserve love. I hated myself for a long time and have learned to love who I am. Although I am still trying to fully find myself again, my lover is so supportive. It is scary, but you have to let go of fear to fully live. You have to be fearless. Letting go of fear… allowed me to experience pure love. Fear holds you back from so much in life.
We have this connection that I have never felt with anyone and it is very hard to even explain. I feel like together we can do anything, even conquer the world if needed. He is my everything and although I am learning to be content with myself… he is my other half, and I am so lucky to have found him in this life. He loved me when I did not know how to love myself; sometimes that is all you need to get pulled from the darkness. He is my light and I love him more than anything in this world. <3 <3 <3
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